Dr. Jim discusses confusion over God bringing someone into one’s life. How do you know what is the Will of God when in a relationship?
Sometimes I receive a number of emails in a relatively short time that contain a recurring theme. Such is the case with many recent emails received.
Why would God bring someone into your life but it not work out?
The scenario is presented that the person is totally sure that God brought a certain person into their lives, BUT. Then follows a variety of descriptions of why it is not working out. They are confused as to why God would bring someone into their life and then it not work out. It is a painful experience and gives rise to many doubts.
God works in many different ways. He does NOT check with me in how He can or should work. While there may be a variety of ways for Him to work in our lives, there are some things that jump out when I read many of these emails.
Desires getting ahead of reality
With sensitivity, I am led to share that in most of the cases presented to me it appears to be a case of someone’s desires getting ahead of reality. God is supernatural but He works with us in the natural. He can and does touch our lives to bring us into healthy connections. It is when we rush ahead of Him that we invite trouble.
What to look for in a Christian Relationship according to the will of God.
Internet dating contributes to this occurrence often. Just from looking at a picture and profile, exchanging a few emails or phone calls, and before they actually meet – the emotions race ahead to ‘assuming’ that this is the one that God called for their mate. Either God is making a LOT of mistakes (NOT), or people are jumping to the wrong assumption.
Allow time of confirmation
I invite you to consider one important premise about knowing God’s will that has helped me immensely. When one believes that God is moving or bringing someone or something to happen, it is very important to allow a time of confirmation. This confirmation can come from many sources, but must not be out of a ‘feeling.’ I say this because one already has the ‘feelings’ or they would not be giving it consideration.
Confirmation: From where?
The confirmations that I am speaking of can come by:
- Sharing what is going on with a mature Christian and invite their prayers and input.
- Considering God’s principles and how they are applying to this situation. God does not contradict Himself! Ever!! God will not lead someone into your life to be your mate if they are still married OR still going through a divorce. In my own opinion, I do not believe that He would lead someone to be a mate if they have not had ample time to reconcile themselves to God and restore health into their emotions, mind, and spirit.
- Taking your time. Time confirms many things. Continue to develop the relationship and ask God to surface anything that is positive, or negative, about the relationship that you need to know. There are many who rush to marriage after only 1 to 6 months of a relationship. God can work in these situations but it handicaps Him and the couple to rush.
- Asking God’s Spirit to provide the way that God wants you to use to receive confirmation.
God does care about all His children, their needs and desires. So many find out the hard way that what they perceived was God’s leading turned out to be nothing more than a great package and strong desires.
Allow a relationship to mature
Time IS your ally and not your enemy. Please believe me when I say that it is far better to take some time to mature and confirm a relationship than to marry and find out it was a mistake. We love our ‘instant’ society but this is NOT the place to practice it.
I am asking the Lord to guide and bless you in your relationships according to God’s will.