What does the Bible say and what does God want from us, when some Christians are having a hard time connecting with other believers?
Dear Jim: Is it okay to date a non Christian if I am not finding any Christians?
Life is difficult at times – and older Christian singles often come to a point that they believe there is not a Christian mate for them. Someone comes into their life that is very strong morally and they begin to question whether or not they should go ahead and date this person.
Here are some points for you to consider if you are at such a point:
- It is very sad, but there are many unbelievers that are stronger morally than many Christians. They are good citizens, caring for those around them, and willing to give sacrificially. However, to begin a relationship with them is akin to dating from another culture.
- God led Paul to write in 2 Corinthians 6:14 ‘Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers:’ Although it can be applied to many relationships, it is commonly accepted that Paul was speaking mostly to marrying a non Christian. God, the one who wants the best for us, is very clear in His instruction.
- ‘Unequally yoked‘ came from the application in Biblical days of putting two oxen together in the same yoke – that were very different. I see the picture of a big oxen being yoked to a small one and see them plowing around in a circle!
- Although we should only be considering Christians who are ‘morally’ strong, morals is not the real essence at stake in this consideration. God is saying that I want to ‘bless’ your relationship – from the start and through the years. Think about it – if you marry an unbeliever – this person is saying that they do not believe this is an important element in your marriage. Marriage is about finding and building compatibilities – and this is a major area where it cannot be done.
- We are called to be witnesses to all men/women (Matthew 28). This instruction from Jesus means that we are charged with telling the Story of Jesus to all – and being a witness to them. Some are tempted to take this to mean that we are to date a non Christian and use themselves as examples to bring them to Christ. This is a misapplication of the Word of God. ‘Dating’ implies the desire to lead to marriage. To date a non Christian can often find the unbeliever doing and saying what is necessary in order to marry the Believer. But guess what happens after the wedding and time begins to settle into the marriage? The unbeliever has not really been changed by God’s Spirit and will turn and fight the very thought of honoring God in the relationship.
I encourage you to keep your focus on God and invite His direction in all your relationships. Do be friends with unbelievers and use the friendship (as you are led by His Spirit) to share the love, joy, and peace you find in being a Christian. Ask God to use you to bring them to Christ. However, do not cross the line. Leave it up to God to do the ‘saving’. If God uses you (or someone else) to bring them to Him, THEN and only then can you give consideration to entering into a deeper relationship. May God guide you and grant you wisdom in your journey.